I have a temper?

Hello reader, thank you for joining me again on this long awaited rant.

So these past few weeks have been all about my character development, at least that's how I chose to see it.

I'm not the type to get verbally aggressive, instead I cry, deep, free flowing, hot and snotty tears when I'm angry. These past few weeks my tear ducts seemed on strike (not literally) and I was left to find another solution. So as you've guessed already, I got vocal, really vocal and not just once or twice but to the point where I couldn't keep tabs on the amount of times I yelled (and probably hurt some people in the process). Its funny cause I look back now and laugh at my reactions (I'm 4ft 11", big afro, black and most of all -> chosen by the chubby life), lets just agree that it wasn't a pretty sight.

God played several tricks on me and I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't handle the test but I'm grateful that I've learnt some lessons and took some notes. If you asked me if I'd ever fail a temperament test or one of patience I'd have said no, but God's detector determined that was a lie.

Lesson 1: I've realised now that there's a lot we are capable of, not just positively as you'd expect but negatively. The work of God is to put us into situations where we think we've got it together (need no help)and prove us wrong. We ought to depend on Him, everything else around us may waver and if our trust is on the physical things, or self, or others then we are in for trouble.

Proverbs 3v5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding"

God put me in that same situation that tried my temper and patience 4 times, until I learnt to act right and lean on Him to deal with the situation. He gave me patience when I asked and took away anxiety and anger. Funny enough the issue was resolved and everything worked accordingly.

Lesson 2: God will keep testing that area of imperfection until you learn !!! He'll allow people to push those buttons. Until you learn how to keep it under control, you'll keep encountering situations like these.

Lesson 3: Only when I asked did God grant me the help I needed!! I asked because I realised that I had been relying on my own strength and it was failing, I asked because I came to the realisation that this was a test and I needed the Teacher to explain and guide me to the answers.

Lesson 4: Y'all I wasted so much time trying to do it by myself, like sooo much time I cant even express how sad it makes me reflecting on the lost time (and energy) that could have been put into other things.

Lesson 5 :God knows what you can handle, He'd never test you beyond what you can bear. HE believes that you'll survive it, and excel right through it. If you don't believe in yourself e.g. that you can overcome a temptation etc. isn't it cool to know that God is believing in you and sees you for what you can do rather than what you cant ? keep in mind that with Him you can do all things !! Philippians 4v 13.

Till next time feel free to comment similar experiences,
Thank you again for reading !!

1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.